I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This by Clare Mackintosh

Grief is universal, but it's also as unique to each of us as the person we've lost. It can be overwhelming, exhausting, lonely, unreasonable, there when we least expect it and seemingly never-ending. Wherever you are with your grief and whoever you're grieving for, I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This is here to support you. To tell you, until you believe it, that things will get easier.

When bestselling writer Clare Mackintosh lost her five-week-old son, she searched for help in books. All of them wanted to tell her what she should be feeling and when she should be feeling it, but the truth - as she soon found out - is that there are no neat, labelled stages for grief, or crash grief-diets to relieve us of our pain. What we need when we're grieving is time and understanding. With 18 short assurances that are full of compassion - drawn from Clare's experiences of losing her son and her father - I Promise it Won't Always Hurt Like This is the book she needed then.

I received a copy of this from Netgalley and the publisher Little Brown in return for an honest review, thank you. I also purchased a beautiful personally signed copy too which I received on release day with a special message from Clare.

This book is beautiful. I cried, I smiled, I laughed, and I hurt reading it. But it was something that was needed. Clare talks about losing her twin son at only 5 weeks old, add having to navigate life and grief while still raising her twin boy who survived. And it’s not pretty most of the time. She talks in raw detail about the grief, the sadness, not being able to get out of bed, wondering how she could carry on and love her children while she has so much loss in her heart. 

We all have loved and lost, and we will go through it all again. I have lost people, but losing My Grandma back in 2004 when I was 19 hit me the worst of all. It’s something I still struggle with sometimes, but it does get easier with time, it just never goes away.

I can’t even imagine losing a child, my heart broke for Clare reading this, and I cried multiple times. But this book is so honest, I really think anyone can read it and relate to different parts throughout. I highlighted so many parts in the ebook, and one quote that stood out to me massively was this:

A goodbye is more than a moment, and you’ll find the right time – and the right way – to say yours.

Only I know how and why this resonated with me so much, but it’s true.

Clare, thank you for writing this, thank you for sharing your story with us all. I know Alex would be extremely proud of you.