When four graduates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their centre of gravity.
Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he'll not only be unable to overcome - but that will define his life forever.
Where to start with this one. My life has been overtaken by this book, it has been in my head since I finished it, I want to go back to it, but I never want to go back to it. My head has been a mess.
First off, I’m so glad I read this with a few buddies, I think it needs to be one that’s read alongside someone else so you have someone to talk to. Secondly, if you want to, I’d recommend reading up on the trigger warnings in this one, there are so many. My DMs are always open if you want to ask me anything. So thank you to my friends Sarah, Lucy and Lisa for joining me on this journey of despair and heartache.
So this book breaks your heart, lifts you up again, then throws you to the floor like a sack of tatties. I lost count of how many times I had a lump in my throat, that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. It’s just trauma after trauma, with a little bit of happiness thrown in for good measure.
Hanya writes with such beauty, there were so many quotes, paragraphs and lines I tabbed, and then in pencil I underlined one. Now the book is filled with bright coloured pens highlighting those passages and quotes, hearts drawn around things. The book destroyed me, and I destroyed it, all in a good way. Hanya describes scenes so well, there were so many times I could picture the beauty in my head: the photographs of the boys, the light hitting the seats on the subway, the paintings in the gallery.
My love for Jude and Willem was huge, I also loved JB (one of my favourite quotes is a JB quote), and Malcolm but Jude and Willem had my heart from the very start. Hanya pulls you in so deep with her characters, that you feel something for them, they’re like your friends, and all you want for them is good things, but you read about bad things, and you want to reach into the pages and pull them out. How many times I just wanted to wrap Jude up and cuddle him and keep him safe. Oh even writing this has me thinking about it. The other characters were fantastic, Andy being one of my favourites. Harold too, such a wonderful loving man.
Oh I could go on and on about this book. If you want to know more, or just chat in general about it please give me a shout.
Amazing amazing story, one of the best books I’ve ever read. I can’t say I liked it as it doesn’t seem right to ‘like’ this book, but boy does it grip you and stay in your head, forever I hope.
Thank you Hanya for writing as beautiful as you do
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