For When I’m Gone by Rebecca Ley

Because there’s never enough time to say goodbye...

Sylvia knows she is running out of time. Very soon, she will exist only in the memories of those who loved her most and the pieces of her life she’s left behind.

So she begins to write her husband a handbook for when she’s one, somewhere to capture the small moments of ordinary, precious happiness I their married lives. From raising their wild, loving son, to what give heir gentle daughter on her eighteenth birthday - it’s everything she should have told him before it was too late.

But Sylvia also has a secret, one that she’s saved until the very last pages. And it’s a moment in her past that could change everything...

For When I’m Gone by Rebecca Ley

I received a copy of this from Orion Publishing group and Netgalley in return for an honest review.

So this book jumped onto my radar on Twitter, and I just knew it was going to be sad. One of my biggest fears has always been dying young and leaving my husband and children, thinking about having to leave them letters and cards for special birthday and weddings. It breaks my heart. We lost my Grandma to breast cancer almost 16 years ago now, she was my favourite person, and it still hurts so much. This book just broke my heart. I cried at least 4 times, and went to bed after finishing it still thinking about Sylvia and her family. 

The cancer and death side of the story plays a huge part, obviously as it’s the main storyline, but there are other things going on. Each chapter moves back and forth from then and now, and has Sylvia’s Handbook chapters. Sylvias handbook chapters were really sad to read, but uplifting at the same time. She lists things she wants to make sure Paul still does once she is gone, and in her own way, it is giving him her permission to move on. In the ‘then’ chapters we find out a lot about Sylvia’s past, how she and Paul met, her family, and in a twist, a secret she has been keeping for a while. In the ‘now’ chapters, Sylvia has passed, and we see the heartbreaking way life has to go on for Paul and their 2 children.

The book for me, made me feel sad and happy in equal measures, but I guarantee By the time you get to the end I assure you, you will be weeping.

A great debut, and I look forward to reading more from Rebecca in the future.

Queenie By Candice Carty-Williams

Queenie Jenkins is a twenty-five-year-old Jamaican British woman living in London,straddling two cultures and slotting neatly into neither. She works at a national newspaper, where she’s constantly forced to compare herself to her white middle class peers. After a messy break up from her long-term white boyfriend, Queenie seeks comfort in all the wrong places…including several hazardous men who do a good job of occupying brain space and a bad job of affirming self-worth.

As Queenie careens from one questionable decision to another, she finds herself wondering, “What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Who do you want to be?”—all of the questions today’s woman must face in a world trying to answer them for her.

Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams 

I’ve had Queenie sitting on my shelf since well before lockdown, and I can’t believe I didn’t read it sooner.  I went into this one thinking it would possibly be a light hearted read, but instead found it filled with sadness and heartache.

Poor Queenie, she seems like kind of girl I'd want to be friends with. She's so down to earth and friendly, but is so lonely since Tom left her. She finds solace in the comfort of other mens beds (not always beds actually) and they're always the wrong kind of men, a bunch of dicks (literally). I just wanted to reach into the book, grab her and hug her.

It wasn't all sad though, with a good handful of laugh out loud moments, a few inside giggles, and a brilliant Jamaican family around her, Queenie was actually still quite an uplifting book. 

Her best friend Kyazike sounded right up my street, the type of girl who takes no crap from anyone, and is always there when you need a friends. Queenie’s Grandma was one of my favourite characters though, a strong, old ways set Jamaican lady, who knew what she wanted and when she wanted it. It was really nice to learn new things about different backgrounds.

Queenie has thrown herself towards the top of my best books of 2020 (possibly ever) list. If you haven’t already read it, why the hell not?! 

Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis

A long time ago, Emmie Blue released a red balloon with a secret message hidden inside - and against all odds, across hundreds of miles of ocean, it was found on a beach in France by a boy called Lucas.

Fourteen years later, on the eve of her thirtieth birthday, Emmie hopes Lucas in finally about to kiss her. She never expected him to announce he was marrying someone else!

Suddenly Emmie’s dreams are shattered and the one person she can rely on is slipping rough her fingers. But what if Lucas isn’t her forever? What if her love story is only just beginning...

Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis

I received a copy of this ebook from Netgalley and Orion Publishing in return for an honest review.

Emmie releases a balloon With a note and her email address attached to it, she is feeling very lonely after something bad happens. It’s found by a boy a long way away in France, luckily a boy who has just moved there from London, and they even share the same birthday! The story follows both Emmie and Lucas, and Lucas’ brother Eliot, whilst jumping from different years to the present day. We see past birthdays they’ve shared together, mixed tapes Lucas sent Emmie once they found each other, and their present day lives. 🎈

I loved Emmie, she seems so lovely, a kind girl who is always there for her friend, and he indeed has her heart. So when she finds out is he getting married, she of course is heartbroken. She deals with this in such a way I don’t think I ever could, which made me love her even more. Along with dealing with all of this, there is a lot of other stuff going on for Emmie, which just adds more upset in her life. But there is happiness, and it’s found in the most unlikeliest of places, in more people than one.

This book is a story of love, friendship, Bon Jovi (mostly Jon), sadness and heartbreak, but most of all, hope.

Thank you Lia ❤

The Doctor Will See You Now by Dr Amir Khan

60 Hours a Week

240 patients

10 minutes to make a diagnosis

Welcome to the Surgery.

Charting his 15 years working as a GP, from rookie to becoming a partner in one of the UK’s busiest surgeries, DR Amir Khan’s stories are as much about community and care as they are about blood tests and bodily fluids.

Along the way, he introduces us to the patients that have taught him about love, loss and family - from the regulars to the rarities - giving him the most unbelievable highs and crushing lows, and often in just 10 minutes. There is the unsuspecting pregnant woman about to give birth at the surgery: the man offering to drop his trousers and take a urine sample there and then; the family who needs support through bereavement, the vulnerable child who will need continuing care for a long-term health condition; and, of course, the onset of the COVID_19 that tested the surgery at every twist and turn. it, it’s all in a day’s work for Amir.

The Doctor Will See You Now is a powerful story of hope, love and compassion, but it’s also a rare insider account of wha really goes on behind those surgery doors.

The Doctor Will See You Now by Dr Amir Khan

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.  The Book cover isn’t available on my copy of the arc (I usually screenshot my kindle), so I took a shot of the title instead.

I stayed up until 1am finishing this. I love Dr Amir, I have followed him on Twitter for ages, and have chatted with him there a couple of times. I’ve been looking forward to his book since I heard about it, and when I saw it was on Netgalley I knew I had to request it. I went from reading Dear NHS, straight to this one, and they are both so different.

Dr Amir talk to us about starting his career as a GP, and takes us trough some of the most memorable of his patients. I will say I cried (I cry at most things to be fair, but this will get you), there was more than one really touching story. The story of Tom, broke my heart, and the final words of his chapter got me, and the little girl Emily, who features quite a bit throughout the book. There were some funny stories too though, ones that made me laugh out loud (a hammer?), and ones that made me silently giggle. 

It ends on a chapter about what’s going on today with Covid-19, and it shows just what GP surgeries are going through.  How little time they (and everybody else) had to get ready for this new way of seeing patients with only telephone calls, unless it was serious and they needed either to be seen by a GP or at hospital.He talks of getting ready to work on the ‘red Zone’, and his fears of catching Covid.

Dr Khan shows just how much of a lovely person he is, the way he deals with his patients at the surgery, and also goes out of his way and beyond to take care of them outside of the surgery. His kindness will stick with me, and I’m betting a lot of other people who have had the pleasure to be in his life.

A really good book, and a great look into the life of a GP, and once again I will say, a very kind man.

‘Thank you so much for the Roses, I’ll look after them’

The Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult

Everything changes in a single moment for Dawn Edelstein. She’s on a plane when the flight attendant makes an announcement: prepare for a crash landing. She braces herself as thoughts flash through her mind. The shocking thing is, the thoughts are not of her husband, but a man she last saw fifteen years ago: Wyatt Armstrong. 

Dawn, miraculously, survives the crash, but so do all the doubts that have suddenly been raised. She has led a good life. Back in Boston, there is her husband, Brian, her beloved daughter, and her work as a death doula, where she helps ease the transition between life and death for her clients . 

But somewhere in Egypt is Wyatt Armstrong, who works as an archaeologist unearthing ancient burial sites, a job she once studied for, but was forced to abandon when life suddenly intervened. And now, when it seems that fate is offering her second chances, she is not as sure of the choice she once made. 

After the crash landing, the airline ensures the survivors are seen by a doctor, then offers transportation wherever they want to go. The obvious option for Dawn is to continue down the path she is on and go home to her family. The other is to return to the archaeological site she left years before, reconnect with Wyatt and their unresolved history, and maybe even complete her research on The Book of Two Ways--the first known map of the afterlife. 

As the story unfolds, Dawn’s two possible futures unspool side by side, as do the secrets and doubts long buried beside them. Dawn must confront the questions she’s never truly asked: What does a life well-lived look like? When we leave this earth, what do we leave behind? Do we make choices...or do our choices make us? And who would you be, if you hadn’t turned out to be the person you are right now?

The Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.

So I’m a huge Jodi Picoult fan, I’ve read almost all of her books (a few just didn’t take my fancy, I will get round to them though). So when this popped up on Netgalley, I knew I had to try. I requested her last 2 and was rejected for both, so when this one was accepted, I screamed. Everything else got pushed back and The Book of Two Ways went right to the top of my list. It took me a while to get through this, only for the reasons of distractions with 2 at home kids, both with special needs. But I tried reading every night before sleep. Last night I was awake until 1am finishing it, wiping my tears before they soaked my pillow.

The book starts with Dawn, who is on a plane which makes an emergency landing. We don’t know why or what really is happening, but the next step leads us to see where she decides to go next. The Story unfolds over 2 different places and a few different times. We see Water/Boston, which is her home with her husband and daughter, we see Land/Egypt, which follows her in Egypt with Wyatt. The chapters bounce from present to past, but it is easy to follow which is which. 

Dawns job is a death doula, which made me think is this a real thing? And wow it is. What a brave job to do, in my opinion. Dawn talks about how she helps a patient at the end, how she will do anything they ask, be there if they wish when they take their final breath, stay around and help the loved ones left behind manage to grieve. My heart broke during the parts she was with a patient, the emotion Jodi put in those pages killed me, I will admit I cried more than once, almost always during those scenes.

The other side of the book is Dawn’s past when she was in Egypt as an archeological student, finding hidden treasures, decoding ancient Hieroglyphs, searching for the Book of Two Ways. I’m not going to lie, at first I found myself a bit confused with all the names of the Egyptian Kings and Queens, but I got used to it fairly quickly. I loved learning about The Book of Two Ways, googling things in the book to see what was true. The beauty behind it is lovely.

The book actually had me internet searching quite a bit of stuff, and I learned a lot! So thanks for that Jodi! The story is one filled with love and regret, hope and friendship. Again, bring tissues as it’s sad at the same time as being wonderful.

You pulled at my heartstrings again Ms Picoult, Thank you x

The Phone Box At The Edge Of The World by Laura Imai Messina

We all have something to tell those we have lost...

When Yui loses her mother an daughter in the Tsunami, she wonders how she will ever carry on. Yet, in the face of this unthinkable loss, life must somehow continue. Then one day she hears about a man who has an old disused telephone box in his garden. There, those who have lost loved ones find the strength to soak to them and begin to come to terms with their grief. As news of the phone box spreads, people will travel to it from miles around. Soon Yui will make her own pilgrimage to the phone box. But once there she cannot bring herself to speak into the receiver. Then she finds Takeshita, a bereaved husband whose own daughter has stopped talking in the wake of their loss.
What happens next will warm your heart, even when it feels as though it is breaking. 

For when you’ve lost everything - what can you find?


The Phone Box at the Edge of the World by. Laura Imai Messina 

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.

I loved this book, and I have a feeling it is going to mean a great deal to me. I remember seeing it for the first time on Twitter and knowing I had to have it on my to read list. 

The story centralises around 2 main characters, Yui and Takeshita. Yui lost her mother and daughter in the Tsunami, Takeshita lost his wife to illness. They don’t know each other, but cross paths on their way to the Phone Box at Bell Gardia, and their lives intertwine like they never knew they would. It’s a lovely story of friendship, and it warmed my heart so much.  

I loved the idea of a phone that let you speak to someone you had lost. If only this was real. Well... I didn’t know until I finished the book and read the extras that the wind phone is actually a real thing, a real place. I googled it, and it looks beautiful. I hope it manages to stay around for a long long time. I love what it stands for, and what it brings to people. 

You come to realise that even though its a phone in the book, it could be anything, not necessarily a phone. I’ve had a similar experience of which for years I carried around a lot of regret and guilt surrounding my Grandmas passing, and a dream gave me the much needed comfort shall we say, and helped me move on. The wind phone symbolises that very thing, and is a beautiful thing to have. To see it in person one day would be amazing.

I enjoyed the different way the book is laid out too, each second chapter is very small, sometimes only a couple of lines, but it is about something that is mentioned in the chapter before. Like chapter one is Yui on her radio show. Chapter 2 is a lit of racks played during her show that night. It gave the book a different edge, but a nice one.

The end made me tear up, and I honestly think this book could help a lot of people who are struggling with grief.

I’d love to read more of Lauras work, so I will be on the lookout for a new novel :)